The Adventure of Mommyhood

This is a companion site to the website I maintain for my son. That one houses pictures and comments on his life and development, and this one will be for my own thoughts and comments on life as a mommy. Being mommy to an infant means I will not post too often, but hopefully it will be enough to let friends and family feel included in our lives even if they are far away. :-)

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Location: Jasper, Texas, United States

I am Mommy to two rambunctious little boys. Darrin AKA "Bear" will be 8 in December, and Chase turned 5 in July. I graduated from Pearland High School in 1996, and went to college for a few years, but didn't earn a degree (wasn't really going for one anyway).

Friday, September 30, 2005

Rita Adventure: Part Deux

Day two.

We arise groggily to find that we have no electricity. Sometime during the night there must have been a surge. Thankfully nothing caught on fire, and hopefully no appliances were compromised (though we won't know that until power is restored). We have a generator that we can fire up, to run the well pump and anything electric we need. In the meantime we have plenty of food, bottled water, and even a propane stove. My parents are awesome. They have stockpiled enough canned goods and rice and beans and all KINDS of stuff that we could survive there without anything else for probably months. You guys ROCK.

Anyway, we spent most of Saturday taking turns sitting at the sliding door at the back of the house (the front porch was and is unstable, and who'd want to sit there watching traffic zoom by anyway when the back opens to their gorgeous acreage?). There was always at least one of us there keeping a vigil over two trees very close to the house whose roots seemed to beall but disconnected to the ground. The trees swayed with every wind gust, and, should one or both trees topple, we were all prepared to make a mad dash for the relative safety of the hallway.

Though winds were fierce enough to have laid down several trees, they had calmed enough by midday so we could have that sliding door open. We all thought that something had fallen on one end of the house, since there seemed to be a creaking noise on the roof. We didn't actually go outside enough to check until later in the day. Even Darrin took a turn at sitting with my mom at the open sliding door. Oblivious of the danger we had survived thus far, he derived great pleasure from trying to "catch" the wind in his hands.

Later, we ventured outside, still keeping a pensive watch on the teetering trees, but feeling safe enough to survey the damage. Shingles were everywhere, but the roof was intact! A branch had fallen and was on the roof, so that must explain the creaking noise. No trees had fallen on the house. No, wait....

Miracle #3: No trees had fallen on the house...although one tree did fall TOWARDS the house. It sat, suspended in time, held at a 45 degree angle by two other trees that happened to be between it and the house. There is a God.

In fact, no tree fell on any building on my parents' property: house, well house, dog house (a disused 2-room chicken coop). Even the old buildings on their newly-acquired land next door (making their yard a comfy 5 acres) had been saved, and now we get to the next amazing bit, but first you need some backstory. The new land had a house on it that was probably 100 years old, lots of damage, but maybe someday they can fix it up and actually live there. It also had two small houses or buildings on cement block foundations, one of which they had wanted to move closer to their residence (a few hundred feet maybe), and set it up as a shop for my mom. The other shop is decidedly dad's workshop, and mom would like a shop for her crafts and sewing and stuff like that. Anyway, they had just a week ago begun trying to move mom's future shop. They had laid down some small tree trunks for it to roll over, chained the building to their backhoe, and had managed to pull it maybe 50-100 feet, as far as they could manage without more people to help.

Miracle #4: a tree fell where the future shop building HAD BEEN. They knew they wouldn't be able to move it very far without help, but had felt such an impetus to get it moved that they would go ahead and move it however far they could manage, and later get help to move it the rest of the way. Can't anyone convince me (or them) that it wasn't God Himself whot planted that urge so they would move the shop such a short distance before the storm. If they hadn't, the building would have been crushed, irrepairable. Wow.

My sweetie decides that since the storm is waning as the day goes on, and people in town are already cleaning up the debris on the roads, he's going to head back home to see how things are there. Hopefully, everything's okay. After all, the storm hit HERE instead of there, right? Just in case our home is without power or anything worse has befallen it, we decide he should go home with the two cats, but Darrin and Mommy should stay with my family here. Sure, we're without electricity here too, but at least we're with family and we have supplies and we're safe. Before he leaves, around dusk, something else of note happens.

We're all sort of hanging around; what is there to do realy yet? we can't even clean up at all, since FEMA must actually SEE the damage firsthand to help you. So, we're all outside still checking things out, still keeping a wary eye on the wobbly trees, when I see Trapper the dog trot up towards the porch, and it's not a chew toy that he has in his mouth. Oh dear. I'm thnking, he's an opportunist, right? Taking advantage of fallen trees to scavenge for new food sources and playthings. So, I get my mom to go see what it is he's got. (Though she didn't have any intention of owning another pet, Trapper came to her one day out of nowhere and refused to leave. So it is, we have a new pet.) He releases a small, wet, furry bundle into her hands, and after some arguments, it is decided it most resembles a squirrel. Yes, it simply must be a baby squirrel. Unsure of its fate after having been so very cold and wet, we figured we would at least try to save it. We bundled it up in towels and plastic around that for insulation, leaving just the face visible. We think it's breathing, but we'll see. Meanwhile, Trapper's nowhere to be seen again...until he comes back, with another odd something in his mouth. Oh no, I think, still sure he's just a carnivore. trapper is, after all, a HUGE creature, probaby the sizwe of a full-grown labrador, and he's obviously just a puppy, maybe a few months old.

As I watch, he places his parcel on the ground, where he had brought the first baby, and then backs off a bit, and looks at me. I go toward him and he points to the tiny creature with his nose and looks at me again. This is no ordinary dog, I think. Without the ability to speak, this dog has just told me, "I brought another baby. I know you can save it. I can't; I'm just a dog. Please help." His seond bundle is another baby suirrel, cold and wet, but making hopeful little squeaking noises. We bundle it up as the first one, and we have them both in a cardboard box.

Miracle #5: Trapper, a huge, clumsy puppy, finds and rescues two baby squirrels, bringing them to us IN HIS MOUTH without so much as scratching them.

My sweetie leaves for home and arrives in three hours, which is the usual amoutn of time such a trip takes. Our house is exactly as we left it, with power and phones and everything. Thank you God.

And the rest will have to wait for my next post.... Darrin's awake from his nap, so it may be awhile. Stay tuned.

Rita adventure: Part 1

Well, Wednesday, little Darrin and I headed off toward my family's place in Jasper, along with my dad. (okay, step-dad, let's just say I have two dads) Anyway, we left at 4:30 PM and arrived at 11:30 PM. Not too bad, right? Well, since so many areas close to our place in Pearland were being evauated--mandatory no less--and because school and my hubby's other jobs were to be closed, he decided to come join us. He left at 3:00 AM. And arrived at 5:00 AM THE NEXT DAY (Friday). Holy cow.

Miracle #1: He made it safely (23 hours of it on ONE tank of gas!), and although the kitties left plenty of presents for us in the car, they were safe too. Whew!

Friday evening, winds slowly begin to pick up in Jasper; Rita decided Pearland wasn't interesting enough anymore and took our lead to head for Jasper too. Oh boy. :) Now, I don't want belittle anyone's disaster experience or how much they suffered or lost due to the storm. I am not writing to have a gripe-fest. I am fully aware that, although the storm's eye ended up really close to, if not in, Jasper, that it left a hell of a lot of destruction on its way there from the Gulf. I feel for you, people. This is not your story, but maybe it can help provide you with enoughe faith or hope to help you overcome your personal disaster experience. I am relating my story because it is the only one I am witness to, so there you go. At any rate, we did all find it more than a little annoying that we spent a LOT of time on the road (being hungry and thirsty, needing to relieve ourselves, etc.), just to go and experience the storm, rather than stayng home. We were glad to be able to be with our extended family though, and not have to worry how they were faring.

Overnight, things were getting very loud outside, and we could hear trees breaking now and again, and bits of who-knows-what were being swept across the roof. My mom and I took Darrin and holed up in the hallway as planned. Our men decided things weren't quite bad enough to warrant leaving the comfort of their beds. Turns out they were right, as nothing fell on top of them (or us) during the night. (See Miracle #2 in the next post for details on THAT.) Still, we women of the house felt it would be very embarassing indeed if we had chosen a safe place and just decided not to be there when disaster struck. So, we got comfy in the hallway, which ran down the center of the house, had no windows, and contained the main support wall of the house. All the previous day had been spent stocking the hallway wth the necessities of life, adn we were as ready for anything as we could be.

There was a hall closet, too, which we had earlier prepared with pillows and blankets (and a bag of supplies like food and water), and a mattress propped overhead for protection. This was to be Darrin's hiding place, and mine as well, since I am his primary food source. Not exactly the best night's sleep I had, being folded up like human origami into the tiny closetspace, but I was sure that my baby was as safe as possible, and that was worth it.

On to day 2...

Thursday, September 29, 2005

MommyFaerie and her Darrin Bear

Rita Aftermath Check-in

Hello, all,
I just wanted to post here quickly to let everyone know that my family (and as far as I have heard, my extended family) is safe and sound. I plan to post in great detail some of my experiences over the past week or so, of all the great and small miracles that are, to me, undeniable proof that a great Someone is out there, watching over us. For now, I must catch up on other, more pressing things, like paying bills. :-Þ I wanted you to know that we are safe, and I hope you are too.
Love and Hugs,
Brandi

Monday, September 19, 2005

Nine months, wow

Friday, September 16, was a special day for Darrin; he's now nine months old! It also marked a 9-month milestone for Mommy; we're still breastfeeding! Originally, I had set myself the goal of exclusively breastfeeding Darrin until he was three months old. Surely I could manage that, as most mommies who breastfeed at all make it that far. Also, while I have always harbored the ultimate goal of a full year, it is much more encouraging to set smaller goals and feel the boost of accomplishment when you fulfill them. So, three months it was...and then six...and then nine. And now, I can set the goal of a full year of exclusive breastfeeding for my child (that is, never supplementing with formula--he does have solid food now too, of course).

Don't get me wrong. I know it is not always feasible or possible for a mother to breastfeed, and there's certainly nothing wrong with formula-feeding. I am NOT writing this entry to cut anyone down for their choices. However, having set this goal for myself, I do feel a certain bit of pride at having come this far, and knowing that I have been able and willing to do what I thought was the very best thing I could do for my child. My family and friends have been quite supportive, and I'd like to thank every one of you who took a moment to offer encouragement and support for my decision. Thank you so much. I wouldn't have made it this far without you.

Everyone's experiences are different, and while some mothers bask in the glow of closeness and bonding, and just love the time they spend feeding their children, I think if I had to describe the process in one word it would be "exasperating." Not that Darrin had trouble latching on; in fact he took to it like an old pro. Not that we didn't bond; for a time, only my scent would calm a fussy, tired Darrin. There were issues nonetheless. What I'm getting at is, even in the best of situations, the choice to breastfeed is an ongoing one (every feeding you must reaffirm your decision), and those mothers who choose to do so MUST have a support net or they won't make it for the long haul. So, what can you do to help?

First, if you know a breastfeeding mother, PRAISE HER for her decision. After all, it is her breasts that will be sagging, old-lady-style (I believe the term used lately is "golf-ball-in-a-sock"), when the baby's weaned. It is her sleep that is interrupted for middle-of-the-night feedings. Even if she's got someone to feed the baby a bottle of expressed milk, she still must hand-express (which is comfortable but humbling) or subject her breasts to the scary, possibly painful, uncompromising suction of a pump, just to relieve the pressure. So, praise her and acknowledge the sacrifice she is making for the sake of her child.

Then, ENCOURAGE HER FAMILY to support her through actions. Maybe someone else can change the baby and get him/her ready while the mother is preparing. (The milk flows better if Mommy has ten minutes or so to relax before nursing, but how can she relax if a hungry, wailing baby is her responsibility ALL the time?) Maybe then, while she nurses, someone can pamper her, offering to get her a drink or rub her still-swollen feet or achy, tense shoulders. Even just taking one responsibility off her plate, like washing dishes or tending to the family pets, can be a great help to the well-being of any mother (nursing or not).

We, as a society, have come a long way from the days when our grandparents were having children, when a mother may have looked on breastfeeding with such distaste, she never considered it an option, and still may crinkle her nose at the thought today. Yes, we've come a long way. Breastfeeding mothers can now buy stylish clothing designed just for their needs (see Motherwear.com, or check out a Motherhood store in your local mall). Employers are beginning to acknowledge the needs of nursing mothers, and they are setting up designated, private areas for them to nurse or express. Thankfully, Texas (where I live) has laws to protect the mother's right to breastfeeding in public. Not every state does, though. In general, there seems to remain a general distaste for breastfeeding, or, at least, breastfeeding in public, here in the United States. So, what can you do to help nursing mothers in general?

You can directly influence individual mothers and support their decision. Should you espy a mother nursing her baby in public, praise and encourage her. Not only has she made a decision for her baby, but she has probably been stared at and frowned upon by many ignorant passersby, and she's probably heard a few whispers too. She needs encouragement more than you can guess. You can also indirectly support the need for awareness and acceptance of breastfeeding. You can wear or sell support bracelets to promote a woman's right to breastfeed in public. These are available by visiting www.lalecheleague.org, an organization that's been supporting breastfeeding women for years. If you buy and wear a bracelet yourself, the proceeds go to La Leche League for breastfeeding awareness/support programs. If you buy and resell them, you're still helping a great deal, just by raising awareness and promoting acceptance. I know everyone's getting tired of the bracelet-for-a-cause idea, but this is really an important issue, and a deserving cause. Breastfeeding is a natural, wonderful thing that mothers can do for their babies, and they should not be ashamed when they do it.

Thanks for reading, and wish me luck on making it to a full year for my little one. He's got three more teeth on the way, so I'll probably need all the encouragement I can get!

Brandi :-)

Saturday, September 17, 2005

FYI

I will not be posting any musings or details about my love life here on this public forum. Therefore, I thought it was worth mentioning that I am married, with no intention or desire to change that fact. Every relationship has its ups and downs of course (a stagnant relationship is a defunct one), but I don't believe we have any problems that we can't deal with and move on. Anyway, since I intend to focus this journal on life as a mommy, and not as a wife, and because I believe the inner workings of a marriage are a private matter, my feelings may not always be obvious. So, let me say it now: I am in love with my husband, as I have been for many years, and I hope we continue to grow and learn together throughout our lives. He is an integral part of my personal adventure through life. If you read this sweetie, I love you! :-)

Friday, September 16, 2005

OMGoodness, I'm a blogger

Wellwellwell, I suppose it had to happen eventually. For those of you who would like to visit the webpage I keep for my little boy, Darrin, here is the URL:
http://www.angelfire.com/moon/dootoys/DarrinPage01.html

It should be noted, however, that I have not updated it or added any photos in probably 3 months. Maybe someday. Maybe. Not only is my Little Prince quite demanding of my time, he's also SO precious that it's very difficult to WANT to be doing anything besides spending time with him. If you've met him, I'm sure you agree. :-)

At any rate, I don't know how often I'll be posting here, but I feel a 'blog must be better than jotting down my thoughts on whatever scraps of paper I can find, and promptly losing them in my ever-present sea of papers. So, this blog will most likely contain bits of rational thoughts and epiphanies (fleeting though they are!), important milestones as Darrin reaches them, and everyday happenings.