Nine months, wow

Friday, September 16, was a special day for Darrin; he's now nine months old! It also marked a 9-month milestone for Mommy; we're still breastfeeding! Originally, I had set myself the goal of exclusively breastfeeding Darrin until he was three months old. Surely I could manage that, as most mommies who breastfeed at all make it that far. Also, while I have always harbored the ultimate goal of a full year, it is much more encouraging to set smaller goals and feel the boost of accomplishment when you fulfill them. So, three months it was...and then six...and then nine. And now, I can set the goal of a full year of exclusive breastfeeding for my child (that is, never supplementing with formula--he does have solid food now too, of course).

Don't get me wrong. I know it is not always feasible or possible for a mother to breastfeed, and there's certainly nothing wrong with formula-feeding. I am NOT writing this entry to cut anyone down for their choices. However, having set this goal for myself, I do feel a certain bit of pride at having come this far, and knowing that I have been able and willing to do what I thought was the very best thing I could do for my child. My family and friends have been quite supportive, and I'd like to thank every one of you who took a moment to offer encouragement and support for my decision. Thank you so much. I wouldn't have made it this far without you.

Everyone's experiences are different, and while some mothers bask in the glow of closeness and bonding, and just love the time they spend feeding their children, I think if I had to describe the process in one word it would be "exasperating." Not that Darrin had trouble latching on; in fact he took to it like an old pro. Not that we didn't bond; for a time, only my scent would calm a fussy, tired Darrin. There were issues nonetheless. What I'm getting at is, even in the best of situations, the choice to breastfeed is an ongoing one (every feeding you must reaffirm your decision), and those mothers who choose to do so MUST have a support net or they won't make it for the long haul. So, what can you do to help?

First, if you know a breastfeeding mother, PRAISE HER for her decision. After all, it is her breasts that will be sagging, old-lady-style (I believe the term used lately is "golf-ball-in-a-sock"), when the baby's weaned. It is her sleep that is interrupted for middle-of-the-night feedings. Even if she's got someone to feed the baby a bottle of expressed milk, she still must hand-express (which is comfortable but humbling) or subject her breasts to the scary, possibly painful, uncompromising suction of a pump, just to relieve the pressure. So, praise her and acknowledge the sacrifice she is making for the sake of her child.

Then, ENCOURAGE HER FAMILY to support her through actions. Maybe someone else can change the baby and get him/her ready while the mother is preparing. (The milk flows better if Mommy has ten minutes or so to relax before nursing, but how can she relax if a hungry, wailing baby is her responsibility ALL the time?) Maybe then, while she nurses, someone can pamper her, offering to get her a drink or rub her still-swollen feet or achy, tense shoulders. Even just taking one responsibility off her plate, like washing dishes or tending to the family pets, can be a great help to the well-being of any mother (nursing or not).

We, as a society, have come a long way from the days when our grandparents were having children, when a mother may have looked on breastfeeding with such distaste, she never considered it an option, and still may crinkle her nose at the thought today. Yes, we've come a long way. Breastfeeding mothers can now buy stylish clothing designed just for their needs (see Motherwear.com, or check out a Motherhood store in your local mall). Employers are beginning to acknowledge the needs of nursing mothers, and they are setting up designated, private areas for them to nurse or express. Thankfully, Texas (where I live) has laws to protect the mother's right to breastfeeding in public. Not every state does, though. In general, there seems to remain a general distaste for breastfeeding, or, at least, breastfeeding in public, here in the United States. So, what can you do to help nursing mothers in general?

You can directly influence individual mothers and support their decision. Should you espy a mother nursing her baby in public, praise and encourage her. Not only has she made a decision for her baby, but she has probably been stared at and frowned upon by many ignorant passersby, and she's probably heard a few whispers too. She needs encouragement more than you can guess. You can also indirectly support the need for awareness and acceptance of breastfeeding. You can wear or sell support bracelets to promote a woman's right to breastfeed in public. These are available by visiting www.lalecheleague.org, an organization that's been supporting breastfeeding women for years. If you buy and wear a bracelet yourself, the proceeds go to La Leche League for breastfeeding awareness/support programs. If you buy and resell them, you're still helping a great deal, just by raising awareness and promoting acceptance. I know everyone's getting tired of the bracelet-for-a-cause idea, but this is really an important issue, and a deserving cause. Breastfeeding is a natural, wonderful thing that mothers can do for their babies, and they should not be ashamed when they do it.

Thanks for reading, and wish me luck on making it to a full year for my little one. He's got three more teeth on the way, so I'll probably need all the encouragement I can get!

Brandi :-)